Thread: Javi's Show Let's get to know a member

Originally Posted by Bryce_Williams

Nice job guys, but I must ask: Why in the stairwell?

I should have explain why, well heres the deal. We had a new awesome hot teacher, I had a boner all day in school, but I forgot my keys to the apartment. Even then I started to think with my penis instead of my brain lol

Great interview @Javi and @SweSpurs that's definitely one of the best, if not the best one i've seen. Other than when i interviewed javi, of course. Just kidding, i'm not that arrogant

ALRIGHT EVERYONE I AM BACK! MWAHAHAHAHAHA ! It's time to bring you another victim I mean guest for you to feed upon, I mean to read about. It has been a while and I imagine some of you aren't too happy about yesterday but cheer up and enjoy the show.

My guest today is one of our Kangaroonians please welcome ROBBIE B!




1.Welcome to the show please tell us all where do you hail from?

Hi Javi, thanks for having me on your show. I live down under in sunny Melbourne, Australia.

2.What type of music interests you? Also could you tell us what 3 songs you never get tired of listening to?
I love listening to Coldplay. Their music seems to keep me calm. Don’t mind listening to old rock as well, helps me through the day. Also like listening to house/dance music and really want to see some more DJ’s live. Been listening to David Guetta a bit as well.

3 songs I never get tired of listening to hmmmm:
First song I’ll have to say is Fix You by Coldplay. One of their best songs, can also listen to Talk by Coldplay all day long. Also like one of The Killers songs - Sam’s Town.

3. I know it’s impossible to name all of your favorite films, so give us your top ten.
In no particular order I’ll have to say:
1- Hangover
2- Rocky I-IV
3- The Untouchables
4- Anchorman
5- Godfather 1 and 2
6- Goal
7- Shawshank Redemption
8- Snatch
9- The Longest Yard
10- 300

4.Tell us about your family and siblings and/or your own family.
Ok, my parents are of Italian decent, with my dad being born in Italy. I am the middle child with two brothers, both of them two and a half years apart from me. My dad was the one who got me into watching football when I was a child, he use to follow Juventus when I was younger. My older brother isn’t into football anymore but my younger brother is a gunners supporter lol. You can imagine the family rivalries here.

5.What is it that you currently do for a living?
For the last 3 years I have been at uni completing my Bachelor of Business degree with a major in accounting. Just finished my degree in November. I have also been working at a lotto outlet part time for the last six years, absolutely hate it now, can’t wait until I get a real job. And over the last 12 months I have been tirelessly apply for many jobs without luck.

6.We all know life has it’s ups and downs but has there ever been a moment when you thought” PLEASE **** WITH SOMEONE ELSE FOR A WHILE”
The only one that comes to my mind at the moment would have to be all applying for all these grad jobs. Some applications can take up to an hour each requiring me to answer stupid questions about myself only for the company to send me a generic response saying I didn’t get the job. I think I have applied for 40+ jobs now.

7.I know television has gone down the drain these last few years. But are there any shows that suit your fancy?
Love watching Inbetweeners, got all the seasons now. Also like How I Met Your Mother. My girlfriend bought the boxset of Friends and I have been watching a few episodes of that, don’t seem to mind it too much as its similar to How I Met Your Mother. Also my brother got me the Mr Bean box set for Christmas so I have enjoyed watching a bit of that as well. Of the cartoons I like South Park, Family Guy, American Dad and Simpsons.

8.If you found out tomorrow that you are going to inherit a fortune beyond belief what would be some of the things you do with it?
I would like to travel the world, especially England and Italy. I would also be able to attend my first Spurs game live at White Hart Lane. Also like to help out my family and friends and would give some to charity as well and I would like to tell my current boss where to go now and that I have more money than him.

9.Tell us about your childhood what was it like? Still in it... So these next questions are gonna be rather awkward.
Well, in my childhood was fun. Played football for my local club for ten or so years up until 16. At school I got up to some mischief, but cause I was pretty smart as well I would still get my work and the teachers go a bit easier on me.

10.Who would you say were your childhood heroes?
As a kid when watching Juve play, I looked up to Alessandro Del Peiro. Still have his poster on the wall. Also liked watching Edgar Davids play at Juve as well.

11.What is one of your childhood toy/toys that you were eager to have above all?
Can’t remember that far back but I did like playing with Lego.

12.What were some of your childhood dreams and ambitions?
Probably like everyone else on here I wanted to play football professionally for a club in Europe. As well as this I wanted to be a train driver, don’t ask why, probably cause I watched so much Thomas the Tank Engine when I was younger.

13.How did you come to supporting Spurs or is it a family oriented support?
As I said earlier, I used to follow Juventus and watch a bit of their games/highlights on tv. It was around 2005 when I was at school and some of my friends kept talking about the EPL and kept asking me who I supported. I didn’t want to follow one of the top four teams as everyone else went for them, so I eventually picked Spurs cause Edgar Davids just signed for Spurs.

14.If it wasn’t Spurs could you/would you support any other team in the EPL?
Dunno, probably Newcastle as they are the same colour as Collingwood in the AFL.

15.With everything that is going on in the world, how would you fix things if it were up to you?
Send Julia Gillard to the moon lol.

16.Now a pretty deep question if you were allowed to kill anyone in the world without guilt, who would it be? Also how would you do it?
I don’t know if someone has the ability to piss me off so much that I would kill them.

17.If you were gone tomorrow, how do you think people would remember you?
I think they would remember me as a real easy going guy, that doesn’t take too many things in life too seriously.

18. Do you have any pets?
Yes I have one German Sheppard who is nearly two years old. Her name is Gemma but over the last six months or so I have been calling her Gemba Ba just for a bit of fun.

19.If you could be any animal in nature which would it be?
Eagle, I have always wanted to fly.

20.Do you have any extra activities/hobbies that you take part of?
During the winter months over here, I hold a Collingwood membership in the AFL and attend many of their games. I also like to go fishing with my friends. I have also just started pre-season with some friends, so it should be a good season.

21.What is your favorite type of food? Or is there any specific dish you fancy?
Growing up with Italian parents I tend to like most Italian dishes. Fav one, would have to be Fettuccine Carbonara or chicken parmigiana.

22. Staying on that topic, if you could have dinner with anyone living who would it be?
Benoit Assou-Ekotto. He is so laid back and modest, would be very interesting to talk to.


23. Do you read? If you do tell us what you like to read. Or feel free to list your favorite books.
Na I don’t really read books too much these days. But a couple of years ago at school I read To Kill a Mocking Bird and enjoyed it a bit.

24.Now tell us what has been the most insane thing you have done in your life so far?
When I first started seeing my girlfriend, I had just finished high school and there was one week at work were I had long hours Monday to Saturday. Starting work at 6 in the morning going through to about 6 at night. A couple of nights I was out drinking with mates, and on two of the other nights went like this. Once I finished work, went and did pre-season training at my local club for the next two hours, rushed home then went clubbing with my girlfriend and other friends. Get home after 4 only to have to get ready for work the next day. Did this twice in the week, as well as lose more sleep for a Spurs mid-week cup game, might have only got a total of 15 hours sleep from Monday to Saturday, was wreaked by Sunday and slept most the day.

25.Now tell us what has been the most shameful thing you have ever done or been caught doing?
Now if I told you this, I might be in danger of getting this site shut down

26.You have 24 hours to live what do you do for those last hours?
Ring up all my family and friends and throw a massive party.

27.Pick three words that best describe you and be honest about it. On top of that pick three words that describe your major flaws.
3 words that best describe me:
Funny
Passionate
Easy-going

And three of my major flaws:
Too Laid-back
Indecisive
Never in a rush


28.Would you buy me booze?
WAITER!!! Two Tequila shots this way please.

29. Now lets get inside your head a bit. What makes you snap? I mean really makes you angry beyond belief? Have you ever had any thoughts that you yourself thought you would never think?
Im a really calm guy and don’t get angry easily. But what does grind my gears is terrible refereeing and the fact that most of the time of ref doesn’t get punished as he should. If I made such big stuff ups at my work I may as well not come back the next day.

30.Now on a lighter side what makes you happy? Omit Spurs victories, drugs, alcohol, and such things. What really makes live worth it to you?
My girlfriend and all my friends. They are all such a good bunch of people that I can just relax with and have fun. Also seeing my girlfriend wearing a Spurs shirt brings a smile to my face knowing I have converted her

31.You have one wish just ONE, what do you wish for? Really think on this one.
Can I wish for unlimited wishes:P Na if I had just one wish I would wish good health and happiness on all my family and friends.

Thanks for having me on your show Javi, it has been a pleasure. COYS!!!

@Robbie_B please come take a bow! Until next time folks stay tuned and remember vote Psychotic.

Well done boys another great interview

Typical Javi show: entertaining as hell. Well done both of you.

I love this thread, how have I not seen this before!

Alright everyone please settle down welcome once again to the show. Now we are all worried about the whole Arry thing but relax for a while and enjoy our next guest. He is quite the character or quite the troll or both! But please lets give a warm welcome to DORSETSPURSFAN!

1.Welcome to the show please tell us all where do you hail from?

I was born in and grew up in South East London. I suppose you would call it a deprived area, but I didn't know that at the time so I liked it. It could explain why I swear so much (according to Mrs Dorset), I grew up in an area where swearing was just part of normal everyday language, if people are offended by my profanity - fcuk 'em!

My dad was Irish and 'worked away from home' a lot. You can draw your own conclusions from that! My mum came from a Welsh Jewish background, so you could say that I am an English, Irish, Catholic, Welsh, Jewish Atheist!! Luckily we didn't have none of that religious nonsense, both my parents were ex-believers so I was allowed to make up my own mind.

I have lived in a few countries including Australia, Thailand and less exotic european countries. I haven't found the place that feels like home yet, luckily the wife likes to wander like me, so we'll keep looking.

At the moment we are living in one of my favourite parts of the UK - Dorset, but my feet are getting itchy and me and Mrs Dorset are thinking of moving to Germany this year.

2.What type of music interests you? Also could you tell us what 3 songs you never get tired of listening to?

I like a lot of musical genres.In my teens I was lucky enough to see such greats as Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd and lesser not but no less great bands like Stray, The Pink Fairies and the Groundhogs. Sadly, I never got to see the great man Jimi Hendrix, I was just a bit too young. I think I used to go and see Hawkwind a lot, though the chemical 'mood enhancers' of that era make my memory very foggy. Just after Lemmy got booted out of Hawkwind I went to the first ever Motorhead gig - they were fcuking awful, Lemmy was even more wasted than usual - they improved, thank god. I also had the great honour of attending the last two UK Bob Marley gigs before he tragically died.

Modern music I like includes Eminem, The Ting Tings, Rammstein, Rebbecca Black (joke), Lady Gaga and Chas N Dave

3 songs I never get tired of listening to: Hmmm thats a tough one! I've had a look in my iTunes 'Top 25 Most Played' tracks and….

Rammstein - Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?
AC/DC - Ride on
Joe Bonamassa - The last Matador of Bayonne

I fcuking hate jazz! I really, really, really hate jazz. I would rather listen to Country & Western than jazz!

3. I know it’s impossible to name all of your favorite films, so give us your top ten.

Would it sound gay if I said I like John Travolta as an actor? Probably. My favourite directors would probably be Tarantino and Luc Besson.

Michael - Travolta as a drinking, smoking, shagging angel really living every second of his short time as a mortal , some lessons for us all maybe?
Pulp Fiction - The portrayal of casual everyday violence is wonderful.
Blues Brothers - So funny and really good tunes!
Scott Pilgrim vs.The World - Wimpy geezer battles the 7 evil exes - love it
Fifth Element - Mila Jovovich!
Leon - Luc Besson
Wall-E - I fcuking cried!

Three London 'geezer' gangster movies:

Snatch - The immortal line ' I fcuking hate pikeys"
Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels - Viinie the magnificent
Gangster Number 1 - Dark humour, loved it

The two films that everyone raved about but I absolutely hated were

Titanic - what a pile of dog poo that was
Deer Hunter - I thought it would never end, so boring.

4.Tell us about your family and siblings and/or your own family.

Married to the wonderful Mrs D. Two grown up children. Two grandchildren. That's all your getting!

5.What is it that you currently do for a living?

This will surprise a lot of people - I am an IT Consultant. Yes I DO understand a bit about all this modern technology malarky. I am mainly a Database designer and programmer, but I whore myself out now designing websites - got to pay the rent.

6.We all know life has it’s ups and downs but has there ever been a moment when you thought” PLEASE **** WITH SOMEONE ELSE FOR A WHILE”

Well you may have heard about the recent Luggage trauma I have experienced. Returning form the annual holiday in Mexico I was horrified to find out that one of our suitcases did not return. 'No God, No! Why me?' I cried.

The answer to your strange question is - No, not really. I get wound up by very small things - I have been known to punch through doors when I couldn't get the lid off a jam jar. I have brief fits of rage when the bins are not collected or the bin men come too early, but , the big stuff in life, well you just have to get on with it don't you?

I don't worry about past mistakes as I think that the only way you can guarantee to be who and where you are is to have done EXACTLY the things you did. I made some very bad financial decisions in the past, and got turned over like most folks by the recession - so the house we used to own is owned by someone else now, but, if we had not lost the house, who knows, the fcuker may have collapsed on us and we'd be 'brown bread'. The investments I made for old age have disappeared, but, I may have been knocked over by a car on the way to a lunch with my ex-broker - kersplatt.

7.I know television has gone down the drain these last few years. But are there any shows that suit your fancy?
COMEDY. Because they can make fun of the shows going down the drain.

Some of the newish American drama shows I really like:
Deadwood, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones - all reasons to justify paying those bastrads at Sky their monthly pound of flesh. Loved The Wire, Sopranos and I used to enjoy Buffy, especially when Willow went evil!

I normally like BBC drama - especially period stuff. Doctor Who has been one of my favourites since I was a kid, though these days I have to ask my youngest grandson to explain the plot to me.

The BBC comedy shows lately are pants! The great David Jason in that pile of drivel 'The Royal', jeeezuz he must be short of money to get involved in that!

8.If you found out tomorrow that you are going to inherit a fortune beyond belief what would be some of the things you do with it?

First I would go an a massive bender. Several days of non stop drinking.

Then I'd tell the kids that I was fabulously wealthy and they were not getting a penny - this is for their own good as they will appreciate success in life if they have to work for it.

Seriously, I don't need a lot of money. I'm not interested in flash cars. I don't need a big house. I would like to own a little farm where I could grow more food and kill more rabbits. Being close to the sea would be nice as I could go down and catch my dinner every day.

So I'd buy a Range Rover, a nice telly, and a farm near the sea.

I'd like to think that I'd give most of it to charities supporting children's hospices.

9.Tell us about your childhood what was it like? Still in it... So these next questions are gonna be rather awkward.

It was great. We didn't have much money, but I didn't seem to need money then. I joined the Cub Scouts when I was eight, moved on to the Scouts - loved it. I've always liked the countryside so going on camps and being able to wear a sheath knife (you could even walk down the streets 'carrying' in those days) and chop stuff up with axes - it was the dogs bollox.

School? I went to this pox awful grammar school, it was supposed to be quite an honour as only clever kids were accepted - boy did they make mistake letting me in! Let's say that me and school didn't get on. I didn't need any education as I knew everything already. I devoted my life to tormenting the enemy (the teachers). The headmaster threatened me with expulsion so many times, the only reason he allowed to stay was because I was pretty good at Rugby. We eventually came to an agreement for my final year that if I presented myself for the morning registration but did not actually attend any lessons, and played Rugby for the school he would not expel me and would allow me to leave at 16 with a reference that would not poison my chances of employment.

The really awful thing about my childhood was although I was seen as a reasonable Rugby player - I really wanted to play football but I was absolutely crap at it, and still am - my grandson started humiliating me in garden kick-abouts when he was 4!. I wasn't actually even a good Rugby player I was just big and brutal and really wasn't bothered about getting bashed about.

Luckily when I left school at 16 with 2 O'Levels (christ knows how I managed that, English and French - WTF?) there were more jobs than applicants so I got a job. After a few years I realised I had been a very silly little wnaker and that if I wanted to get a good job I would need some educayshun, so I started evening school and got myself learned up!

10.Who would you say were your childhood heroes?

Jack Hargreaves - He presented a programme on the telly called 'Out Of Town'. It was all about the countryside, its traditions and stuff like how to trap rabbits and which mushrooms would only slightly kill you. Although I lived in London, I spent most of my free time in parks and woods, ending up in hospital on more than one occasion through eating things that I thought Jack had said were safe!

Keith Richards - He was a bad boy and I really wanted to be bad.

Fidel Castro - Was and is my hero. No, I am not going to get into a political conversation, so fcuk off.

11.What is one of your childhood toy/toys that you were eager to have above all?

A Chad Valley 'electric' guitar. It wasn't electric and it wasn't a real guitar, but it looked like one. I would spend hours in my bedroom prancing around with this, dreaming of being my hero Keith Richards!

12.What were some of your childhood dreams and ambitions?

I wanted to be Zorro. I wanted to touch girl's breasts.

13.How did you come to supporting Spurs or is it a family oriented support?

Thinking back I originally thought my dad had taken me to White Hart Lane the first time, but it was in fact my mate's dad that took us both. I think it was in 1964 when I was 8, but I do remember quite clearly Jimmy Greaves scoring a wonder goal and I was hooked!

14.If it wasn’t Spurs could you/would you support any other team in the EPL?

No of course not - what a fcuking stupid question.

15.With everything that is going on in the world, how would you fix things if it were up to you?

I would resolve the Euro crisis by invading every country in Europe. When we won, I would create the United Kingdom Of Europe and we would then invade the USA and they too would become part of the UKOE, then China and all the other countries would crumble and become vassal states. All countries in the World would then adopt the pound as their currency, drive on the left (the correct side), wear bowler hats on a Sunday and swear allegiance to the King - me.

I would legalise most drugs, the stupid war on drugs isn't working and will never work. I'm not that arsed about getting wasted these days but WTF has it got to do with the government wether I use alcohol to destroy my brain cells with dope?

I would make it a criminal offence for fat women to wear leggings.

I would help the 'travelling community' by allowing them to travel, a long, long way away!

16.Now a pretty deep question if you were allowed to kill anyone in the world without guilt, who would it be? Also how would you do it?

At last an easy question. Sol Campbell. He was my hero. I worshipped the ground that man walked on and then he did what he did. I remember when I found out that Santa did not exist, I was gutted. When I heard that Garry Glitter was a paedophile I was devastated - surely not 'the leader'? The news of Jimi Hendrix' death took me years to come to term with. But these traumatic times pale into insignificance compared to how that cnut ripped the heart from my body and threw it away.

17.If you were gone tomorrow, how do you think people would remember you?

They wouldn't.

18. Do you have any pets?

No, I haven't got the patience needed to look after animals. I like dogs but they are like babies that never grow up, you have to give them so much attention. I used to have a lizard when I was a kid - died. Hamster - died. Dog - died. Cat - don't give a toss, I hate cats!

19.If you could be any animal in nature which would it be?

WTF? Well, Rabbits get to do a lot of shagging. Nobody fcuks with Rotweilers. Meerkats are very cute. Tigers are magnificent beasts. So, after due consideration, no of course I wouldn't want to be a fcuking animal!

20.Do you have any extra activities/hobbies that you take part of?

Winemaking - I love alcohol and hate paying tax, so this hobby is just the job.
Fishing - I like eating fish and hate paying for them.
Shooting Rabbits - See above.
Growing Vegetables - See above.

21.What is your favorite type of food? Or is there any specific dish you fancy?

I love food! My favourites would be have to include traditional English food - the good old North Indian Curry and Kebabs.

I make my own bread - I hate that airy crap they sell in the supermarkets. Cheese! I love cheese! The reason am I so fat is because of my cheese (and butter) addiction.

22. Staying on that topic, if you could have dinner with anyone living who would it be?

I don't like doing dinners or parties. I prefer to eat my dinner from a tray in my favourite chair in front of the telly. I am not a sociable person, so nobody I'd like to have dinner with.

If you had asked is there anyone I would like to go out and get ******ed with (drunk) - then Robbie Keane.

23. Do you read? If you do tell us what you like to read. Or feel free to list your favorite books.

I read a lot! I really like Fantasy stuff.

Some of my favourite authors:
James Jordan - I started reading the Wheel Of Time 'trilogy' years ago - I'm now waiting for book 14 I think it is, he's a great author, managing to finish the series even when he is dead.
Terry Pratchett - I have read every book he has ever wrote. Very clever, very funny man.
David Eddings - Easy to read with characters you 'get to know', loads of wizards and stuff - loverly!
George R R Martin - Game Of Thrones series is very dark - scary!
Raymond E Feist - Like Eddings, easy to read, great characters, Demons and trolls and stuff.

24.Now tell us what has been the most insane thing you have done in your life so far?

Agreeing to answer your questions

25.Now tell us what has been the most shameful thing you have ever done or been caught doing?

I can't tell you that because they haven't caught me yet!

26.You have 24 hours to live what do you do for those last hours?

In the words of Ian Drury - Sex & Drugs & Rock 'N' Roll!

27.Pick three words that best describe you and be honest about it. On top of that pick three words that describe your major flaws.

Same three words for both categories:

Tenacious - I never give up - ever.
Loyal - I would have made a great stalker, if you are my friend then it's for life
Unforgiving - If you are my enemy then it's for life

28.Would you buy me booze?

No.

29. Now lets get inside your head a bit. What makes you snap? I mean really makes you angry beyond belief? Have you ever had any thoughts that you yourself thought you would never think?

People asking me to buy them booze.

People with no sense of humour. No, sorry they don't name me nary they just make me laugh! When I post something on the forum and I get the miserable cnuts saying 'oh no you shouldn't say that - you are so insensitive' - oh just fcuk off will you please.

Politicians, these fcuktards are supposed to be setting an example! They get paid a fortune, have a fabulous pension, do next to nothing and steal they steal more.

30.Now on a lighter side what makes you happy? Omit Spurs victories, drugs, alcohol, and such things. What really makes live worth it to you?

How cam I omit three of my favourite things? What is left?

31.You have one wish just ONE, what do you wish for? Really think on this one.

WTF? I thought you got THREE wishes! Everyone else gets three! It's not fair!

I'm not answering this question because I have seen the movie where a chap wished to live forever just like he was before he died - aaaarggggh, he was horribly burnt, no I'm not falling for that one!

@DorsetSpursFan come take a bow.

Well that is it for today folks lets get a good result this weekend COYS!