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Reply With QuoteEastMidlandsYid (24-03-2009),JoeMama (25-01-2009),Pitseleh (25-01-2009),weirddave (16-03-2009)
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just thought id keep you up to date with my latest gags
1) Cristiano Ronaldo has said on his insurance claim form that he had asked for the tunnel wall to be moved back a full ten yards .
2) Liverpool are in talks with Everton to build a supersize stadium and they are going to name it the SAN GIRO stadium .
3) A blonde goes into the greengrocers and says i'll have 3 pounds of potatoes please , the greengrocer replies its kilo's now . ok she says i'll have 3 pounds of kilo's then .
4) I took the mother in law out last night ...............one punch
EastMidlandsYid (24-03-2009),JoeMama (25-01-2009),Pitseleh (25-01-2009),weirddave (16-03-2009)
This ones priceless
A half jewish / half sicillian boy goes to his mum and says mum am i mostly sicillian or mostly jewish , the mother replies your my son and thats all that counts , why do you ask . The boy says theres a boy down the road selling his bike for £50 , now i dont no whether to go haggle like a good jewish boy , or stab the c*nt and take it .
a few thanks wouldn't go amiss lads
desyid (05-02-2009),EastMidlandsYid (24-03-2009),weirddave (16-03-2009)
I'm gonna rob a bank tomorrow with a clowns face wearing a thong and nipple tassles , carrying a goat , a tin of dulux paint and a dildo . In the bank i'm gonna stick the dildo up my ass and make the goat suck me off while im throwing paint everywhere and shouting sol campbells a big pooftah c*nt , once ive got the cash , i'm gonna sh!t on the floor , and then escape in a van shaped like a big pink c*ck . Lets see crimewatch stage a reconstruction of that f*cker
weirddave (16-03-2009)
ok = heres another one you wont get .
I went down to margate the other day coz my doctor said its good for rheumatism , so i went there , and got it . Now its my first night away from home so i got on the lash without thinking about where to stay . So at 2am in the morning i knocked on a guest house door with vacancy in the window . The woman opened a window and said " WHAT DO YOU WANT " and i said " I WANT TO STAY HERE " and she said "STAY THERE THEN " and shut the window .
weirddave (16-03-2009)
Crikey are you all drinkin bostic
Does anyone else know any jokes or should i just carry on
Carry on mate!
A Gooner got knocked down and killed by a lorry outside my house today. I thought "wow that could`ve been me " but i can`t drive a lorry !!! I`m here all week
ildavo (10-02-2009)
How to stop your Volvo getting nicked in Liverpool! image015.jpg
A new type of Multi Purpose Vehicle. image013.jpg
image004.jpgI see what you mean buddy!Originally Posted by foghorn leggy
image005.jpgNow that's what I call cornering!
An old gentleman walks into a fur shop with a young bautiful brunette on his arm , and says to the the owner i would like to see your most expensive mink coat please . The shop owner brings out said coat and the young lady puts it on and immediatly falls in love with the coat . We'll take it says the old man , but the owner says do you realise thats £25,000 . The old man says Oh in that case i'll write you a cheque . The shop owner says in that case you can pick up the coat in a couple of days when the cheques cleared . Fine says the old man . Two days later the old man returns alone , and the shop owner is furious , he says that cheque bounced you had no money in your account . I know sorry about that says the old man . The owner says So what have you come back for . The old man says i wanted to thank you for the best couple of days i've had in my life
foghorn leggy (24-01-2009)
Two cannibals are eating a clown , one of them turns to the other and says " does this taste funny to you "
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